I just want to write. I want to sit at my desk, surrounded by candles, with the window open so I can feel the breeze, and just let my fingers dance across the keyboard. Let my muse take over and run wild ... I don't want to do mundane work. I don't want to eat nor drink. I just want to write. To let go of what's eating my brain cells, making me toss and turn at night, and walk around like a zombie during the day ... The thoughts that have been dominating my mind ... my passions, my dreams ... wanting to move on to a new field ... where I can write and edit and create ... where I can touch people, lives with my gift ... my words ... my enthusiasm ... my spirit ...
I tried working on my latest book but my mind was racing and I had trouble putting the thoughts down ... so I put it aside and now, that's all I want to work on ... so tonight I'll sit at my desk after the baby is in bed and I'll write ... I'll edit and I'll complete it ... earlier than expected ... here we go!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
It's absolutely amazing
what you can do when you put your mind to it dude! In the past month and a half I've gotten a refresher course on my abilities, my strength and how committed I can be.
I started the South Beach diet about six weeks ago. For some time I knew I had to do something about my weight and overall health. I mean, I wasn't obese or anything but I was definitely out of shape and overweight. Ever since I had my daughter, I'd put my health on the backburner and had become a serious carb junkie. I mean, I've always loved carbs. I love sweets, rice, pasta, bread. All the stuff that's bad for you. But before, I ate it in moderation or at least somewhat ... but that was balanced by my being a gym rat. I worked out four to five times a week so I was cut up, in awesome shape. Then I had my little one and that went out the window. But this year, with everything I've done professionally, the internal work I've done and the great strides I've made in pursuing my passions, I wanted to extend that to the external - my body and health. So six weeks ago, I stopped eating the things I loved the most. For the first week, I was irritable ... well, I was straight up bitchy! I was getting headaches, was frustrated all the time ... and I craved my carbs - my extra large cup of java with six sugars (yes, I liked a little coffee with my sugar), my bread, my oily rice ... oh and my pasta! But here I am six weeks later and I have yet to eat any of it. Yes, I could have reintroduced carbs in moderate amounts in the third week but I felt so good at that point, my energy was up, and I wasn't craving the carbs so I've maintained the high protein, low carb diet this long. Thanksgiving is around the corner and while I intend on having some carbs (HELLO! It's the holidays!), I know I won't overdo it.
I've lost 12+ pounds and inches on my J-Lo booty (yes, it's that big and I love it - giggles), my waist, my legs! I also started working out. I can't go to the gym right now (who's gonna stay with the nena?) but I can make due with what I have - dumbbells, a medicine ball, and tension bands. And with the little I've done ... or rather what I thought was little (of course I'm comparing it to squating 100+ pounds in the gym), I'm sore! That means it's working ... I'm tearing muscle! And you have to tear muscle to make them grow!
And that's not the only moves I've made. While I've expressed frustration with my job, I hadn't really done much about it. I'd posted my resume on the net but beyond that, my efforts were minimal. Then I became proactive and, damn, the results have been almost instantaneous. I picked up the book "What Color Is Your Parachute?" ... well, actually the book kinda fell in my lap (Coincidence? I think not)... The book is all about making life changing career moves. It gives you exercises you can do to in essence create a visual of what your ideal job would be. And if anyone has read or seen the documentary "The Secret" (all about the laws of attraction), you know that it's all about visualizing and bringing your dreams to you! So that's what I did ... and I reworked my resume to focus on my professional accomplishments in my passions - writing, editing and working with youth ... and low and behold, I got a callback for a job I applied for and I ROCKED THAT INTERVIEW TODAY! I was invited back for a second interview too! I haven't fully committed to the position 'cause I'm still feeling it out, figuring out if it's the road I want to go but the point is that I know I'm on the right path! This is the reinforcement I needed to convince me that I have the skills to take my career endeavors to that next level! And it's all because I made that decision to do so ... to become proactive!
So now my 32nd birthday (GAG! 32!) is a month away and I'm celebrating with those I love at a lounge downtown. I've often been my greatest critic, harder on myself than even my worst adversary can be ... and I've decided that this year I am going to celebrate everything I've accomplished ... I've done so much, taken so many strides towards my dream, I want to celebrate that!
I know 2008 is going to be an astonishing year. I feel on the brink ... like me and my people, my business partners and friends, are on the brink of ridiculous success ... the manifestation of the vision we've maintained and been working towards for so long ... I'm ripe and ready! Bring it!
I started the South Beach diet about six weeks ago. For some time I knew I had to do something about my weight and overall health. I mean, I wasn't obese or anything but I was definitely out of shape and overweight. Ever since I had my daughter, I'd put my health on the backburner and had become a serious carb junkie. I mean, I've always loved carbs. I love sweets, rice, pasta, bread. All the stuff that's bad for you. But before, I ate it in moderation or at least somewhat ... but that was balanced by my being a gym rat. I worked out four to five times a week so I was cut up, in awesome shape. Then I had my little one and that went out the window. But this year, with everything I've done professionally, the internal work I've done and the great strides I've made in pursuing my passions, I wanted to extend that to the external - my body and health. So six weeks ago, I stopped eating the things I loved the most. For the first week, I was irritable ... well, I was straight up bitchy! I was getting headaches, was frustrated all the time ... and I craved my carbs - my extra large cup of java with six sugars (yes, I liked a little coffee with my sugar), my bread, my oily rice ... oh and my pasta! But here I am six weeks later and I have yet to eat any of it. Yes, I could have reintroduced carbs in moderate amounts in the third week but I felt so good at that point, my energy was up, and I wasn't craving the carbs so I've maintained the high protein, low carb diet this long. Thanksgiving is around the corner and while I intend on having some carbs (HELLO! It's the holidays!), I know I won't overdo it.
I've lost 12+ pounds and inches on my J-Lo booty (yes, it's that big and I love it - giggles), my waist, my legs! I also started working out. I can't go to the gym right now (who's gonna stay with the nena?) but I can make due with what I have - dumbbells, a medicine ball, and tension bands. And with the little I've done ... or rather what I thought was little (of course I'm comparing it to squating 100+ pounds in the gym), I'm sore! That means it's working ... I'm tearing muscle! And you have to tear muscle to make them grow!
And that's not the only moves I've made. While I've expressed frustration with my job, I hadn't really done much about it. I'd posted my resume on the net but beyond that, my efforts were minimal. Then I became proactive and, damn, the results have been almost instantaneous. I picked up the book "What Color Is Your Parachute?" ... well, actually the book kinda fell in my lap (Coincidence? I think not)... The book is all about making life changing career moves. It gives you exercises you can do to in essence create a visual of what your ideal job would be. And if anyone has read or seen the documentary "The Secret" (all about the laws of attraction), you know that it's all about visualizing and bringing your dreams to you! So that's what I did ... and I reworked my resume to focus on my professional accomplishments in my passions - writing, editing and working with youth ... and low and behold, I got a callback for a job I applied for and I ROCKED THAT INTERVIEW TODAY! I was invited back for a second interview too! I haven't fully committed to the position 'cause I'm still feeling it out, figuring out if it's the road I want to go but the point is that I know I'm on the right path! This is the reinforcement I needed to convince me that I have the skills to take my career endeavors to that next level! And it's all because I made that decision to do so ... to become proactive!
So now my 32nd birthday (GAG! 32!) is a month away and I'm celebrating with those I love at a lounge downtown. I've often been my greatest critic, harder on myself than even my worst adversary can be ... and I've decided that this year I am going to celebrate everything I've accomplished ... I've done so much, taken so many strides towards my dream, I want to celebrate that!
I know 2008 is going to be an astonishing year. I feel on the brink ... like me and my people, my business partners and friends, are on the brink of ridiculous success ... the manifestation of the vision we've maintained and been working towards for so long ... I'm ripe and ready! Bring it!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
It's been a minute
since I sat here at my desk and blogged. I've been focused on making career moves, writing, etc... you know, life.
Today I interviewed two Latina writers. Specifically, two of three (the third being me) who write "urban fiction." It was interesting to hear what drives people to write, their inspirations, their histories... Still, despite our disparate lives and paths, there were common threads.
I went into it with no expectations but endless curiosities. I wanted to know what shaped their, their work ... and what I found floored me for our lives have been so utterly different. One of them was reared in the Patterson Projects of the South Bronx, without a father in the home and a mother who neglected her, she married at eighteen, and twenty years later is still married to the same man, has two teenage children, and a seemingly functional, happy life. The other was just released from prison eight months ago after serving five years +, this being the third time she was in jail in her short years. She didn't tell me her age but from her energy and her deeming me "still a baby" at my farely ripe age of 32, I gather she's either in her late or early forties. Neither finished college but both see a future in writing.
The common threads are numerable: releasing their pain and frustrations in writing during their youth; lured by the "excitement" of the street thus becoming knowledged in "the game" and the street hustle; their books were birthed during or after tragic moments in their lives (much like mine with the death of my second mom and the crumbling of my relationship with my daughter's father); their fathers were pretty much absent from their lives or played peripheral roles; reared by strong mothers who instilled strong morals and values in them, namely independence and fortitude; driven by a yearning to do something positive with their lives; we were all driven to writing "urban fiction" not just by our lives and experiences, but by other writers of urban fiction, if not to prove ourselves then to introduce more substance to the game; and all love the labels put on them including that of "Latina writer" and "urban fiction writer".
I'm fascinated at how we all have walked such immensely different paths but have come to a common place: that of writing. I'm looking forward to writing this article. I've made notes and intend on listening to the interviews several times prior to actually writing it ... but this blog serves as my first step towards the actual piecing together of the article. I'm still figuring out how to include my take on urban fiction. I mean, I'm not trying to offend anyone ... and I admit that this may be my bourgeoisie, "elite-education-minded/guided" side that may be talking, but I insist that this genre will not have full credibility in the literary world until people start taking onus of what they put out there. I mean, a typo here and there is understandable. Sometimes you just won't catch anything. Shit, I've found missteps in extremely popular books including one by Isabel Allende and even a Stephen King book. But when the books are riddled with typos and grammatical errors, there's a problem. Authors, editors AND publishing companies/houses must be accountable for the work they put out there, PERIOD!
I'm an avid reader and, particularly as a writer, I need a book to be legible. I also need a plot and sorry but money, sex and drugs does not a book make. Tell me a story. It doesn't have to be an original. I mean, realistically we've seen stories regurgitated a million and one times ... the story is in the telling. Give me something that will make me fight my sleep, one eye open struggling to stay open just to read the next few lines! Make me feel the characters. Make me cry for them, feel pain for them, feel happy for them, excited, contend, SOMETHING! And far too many of these books are lacking in that ... I mean, there's an audience for everything but PLEASE ... I digress ... The point ultimately is that I have to find a way to mention all these frustrations without insulting anyone ... Is it possible? I guess that I shall see.
Today I interviewed two Latina writers. Specifically, two of three (the third being me) who write "urban fiction." It was interesting to hear what drives people to write, their inspirations, their histories... Still, despite our disparate lives and paths, there were common threads.
I went into it with no expectations but endless curiosities. I wanted to know what shaped their, their work ... and what I found floored me for our lives have been so utterly different. One of them was reared in the Patterson Projects of the South Bronx, without a father in the home and a mother who neglected her, she married at eighteen, and twenty years later is still married to the same man, has two teenage children, and a seemingly functional, happy life. The other was just released from prison eight months ago after serving five years +, this being the third time she was in jail in her short years. She didn't tell me her age but from her energy and her deeming me "still a baby" at my farely ripe age of 32, I gather she's either in her late or early forties. Neither finished college but both see a future in writing.
The common threads are numerable: releasing their pain and frustrations in writing during their youth; lured by the "excitement" of the street thus becoming knowledged in "the game" and the street hustle; their books were birthed during or after tragic moments in their lives (much like mine with the death of my second mom and the crumbling of my relationship with my daughter's father); their fathers were pretty much absent from their lives or played peripheral roles; reared by strong mothers who instilled strong morals and values in them, namely independence and fortitude; driven by a yearning to do something positive with their lives; we were all driven to writing "urban fiction" not just by our lives and experiences, but by other writers of urban fiction, if not to prove ourselves then to introduce more substance to the game; and all love the labels put on them including that of "Latina writer" and "urban fiction writer".
I'm fascinated at how we all have walked such immensely different paths but have come to a common place: that of writing. I'm looking forward to writing this article. I've made notes and intend on listening to the interviews several times prior to actually writing it ... but this blog serves as my first step towards the actual piecing together of the article. I'm still figuring out how to include my take on urban fiction. I mean, I'm not trying to offend anyone ... and I admit that this may be my bourgeoisie, "elite-education-minded/guided" side that may be talking, but I insist that this genre will not have full credibility in the literary world until people start taking onus of what they put out there. I mean, a typo here and there is understandable. Sometimes you just won't catch anything. Shit, I've found missteps in extremely popular books including one by Isabel Allende and even a Stephen King book. But when the books are riddled with typos and grammatical errors, there's a problem. Authors, editors AND publishing companies/houses must be accountable for the work they put out there, PERIOD!
I'm an avid reader and, particularly as a writer, I need a book to be legible. I also need a plot and sorry but money, sex and drugs does not a book make. Tell me a story. It doesn't have to be an original. I mean, realistically we've seen stories regurgitated a million and one times ... the story is in the telling. Give me something that will make me fight my sleep, one eye open struggling to stay open just to read the next few lines! Make me feel the characters. Make me cry for them, feel pain for them, feel happy for them, excited, contend, SOMETHING! And far too many of these books are lacking in that ... I mean, there's an audience for everything but PLEASE ... I digress ... The point ultimately is that I have to find a way to mention all these frustrations without insulting anyone ... Is it possible? I guess that I shall see.
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